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AGE

  1. THE TROUBLE WITH RETIREMENT IS YOU DON'T GET A DAY OFF
  2. I'M HAVING AN INTELLECTUAL INTERRUPTION NOT A SENIOR MOMENT
  3. YOU CAN'T HELP GETTING OLDER, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET OLD
  4.  BEEN THERE DONE THAT--CAN'T REMEMBER
  5. YOU DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE YOU GROW OLD GROW OLD BECAUSE YOU STOP LAUGHING
  6. YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD TO BE YOUNG
  7. I KNOW I CAME INTO THIS ROOM FOR A GOOD REASON
  8. AGE IS A QUESTION OF MIND OVER MATTER--IF YOU DON'T MIND IT DOESN'T MATTER
  9. I REACHED AN AGE WHEN MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT OFTEN LEAVES THE STATION WITHOUT ME
  10. I'M LIKE FINE WINE, AGED, SOPHISTICATED & FULL BODIED
  11. EVER STOP TO THINK AND FORGET TO START​
  12. I HAVEN'T LOST MY MIND, I PUT IT AWAY FOR SAFE KEEPING
  13. I'M IN MY OWN LITTLE WORLD, BUT IT'S OKAY BECAUSE THEY KNOW ME THERE

ACTIVITIES

  1. MAJ JONGG MAVEN
  2. WHAT HAPPENS AT MAJ JONGG STAYS AT MAJ JONGG
  3. WHAT  HAPPENS AT BOOK CLUB STAYS AT BOOK CLUB
  4. WHAT HAPPENS AT BRIDGE STAYS AT BRIDGE
  5. I ONLY PLAY BRIDGE ON DAYS THAT END IN Y
  6. WHAT HAPPENS AT CANASTA STAYS AT CANASTA
  7. SOCCOR BALL
  8. SOCCOR--DON'T GO THROUGH LIFE WITHOUT GOALS
  9. YOGA--YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT
  10. ​YOGA--I'D RATHER MEDITATE THAN SIT AROUND AND DO NOTHING
  11. GOLFERS DIET:  LIVE ON GREENS AVOID WATER
  12. SO MANY GREENS SO LITTLE TIME
  13.  GOLF --MY FAVORITE FOREPLAY
  14.  I HATE GOLF, I HATE GOLF, GOOD SHOT, I LOVE GOLF WOMAN
  15.  I HATE GOLF, I HATE GOLF, GOOD SHOT, I LOVE GOLF MAN
  16.  TENNIS PLAYERS HAVE FEWER FAULTS
  17. TENNIS IS MY RAQUET
  18. I GET ENOUGH EXERCISE PUSHING MY LUCK
  19. DOES RUNNING LATE COUNT AS CARIO
  20.  I'D RATHER BE FISHING(Can substitute activity)
  21.  WHO NEEDS THERAPY, I HAVE KNITTING
  22.  WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU SCRAPS--STITCH QUILTS
  23.  STITCH YOUR STRESS AWAY
  24. A FISHERMAN LIVES HERE WITH HIS BEST CATCH
  25. LIFE IS BETTER IN FLIP FLOPS
  26. ​LIFE IS GOOD

ADULT​

  1. GOLF--MY FAVORITE FOREPLAY
  2. SEX IS LIKE A BANK--YOU PUT IT IN, YOU TAKE IT OUT, YOU LOSE INTEREST
  3. TO DO LIST--I DON'T GIVE A SHIT
  4. KISSES ARE LIKE REAL ESTATE--WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION
  5. PLAYING BRIDGE IS LIKE HAVING SEX, IF YOU DON'T HAVE A GOOD PARTNER YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD HAND 
  6. I THINK I'M EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED. I HAVEN'T GIVEN A CRAP ALL WEEK

DRINKS

  1. DID SOMEONE SAY IT'S WINE O'CLOCK
  2. IT'S 5 O"CLOCK SOMEWHERE
  3. NOVINOPHOBIA--THE FEAR OF RUNNING OUT OF LUCK 
  4. WINE TAKES THE BITCH OUT
  5. ​MY BUCKET LIST--ICE & WINE
  6.  A WINE GLASS IS AN ADULT SIPPY CUP
  7. AT MY AGE I NEED GLASSES
  8. WINE IMPROVES WITH AGE, I IMPROVE WITH WINE
  9. CHAIRMAN OF THE BORDEAUX
  10. LIFE IS A CABERNET
  11. I DRINK BECAUSE IT'S NOT GOOD TO KEEP THINGS BOTTLED UP 
  12. WINE A LITTLE YOU'LL FEEL BETTER
  1. FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WINE ALONE
  2. TAKE EVERY BIRTHDAY WITH A GRAIN OF SALT AND  A SPLASH OF TEQUILA
  3. IF DRINKS AREN'T INVOLVED--NEITHER AM I
  4. I COOK WITH WINE & SOMETIMES ADD IT TO FOOD
  5. GREAT MINDS DRINK ALIKE
  6. YOU HAD ME AT MERLOT
  7. BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEER HOLDER
  8. BREWED AWAKENING
  9. COFFEE KEEPS ME BUY UNTIL IT'S TIMETO DRINK

FOOD

  1. WHEN LIFE THROWS LEMONS THROW THEM BACK AND DEMAND CHOCOLATE
  2. A BALANCED DIET IS CHOCOLATE IN EACH HAND
  3. I SERVE THREE MEALS--FROZEN--TAKEOUT--MICROWAVE
  4. WHEN I SAY THE DIRTY WORD EXERCISE I WASH MY MOUTH OUT WITH CHOCOLATE
  5. I DON'T COOK, I CREATE
  6. I'M NO QUITTER--I WON'T GIVE UP CHOCOLATE
  7. I WISH WEIGHT WAS LIKE VIRGINITY--ONCE YOU LOSE IT YOU NEVER TET IT BACK
  8. I COOK WITH WINE AND SOMETIMES ADD IT TO FOOD

FRIENDSHIP

  1. ​GOOD FRIENDS DON'T LET YOU DO STUPID THINGS ALONE
  2. A FRIEND IS ONE WHO REACHES FOR YOUR HAND AND TOUCHES YOUR HEART
  3. GIRLFRIENDS ARE LIKE BRAS--THEY SUPPPOT YOU & ARE CLOSE TO THE HEART  YOU'LL ALEAYS BE MY FRIEND--YOU KNOW TOO  MUCH
  4. WE'LL BE FRIENDS WHEN WE'RE OLD AND SENILE THEN WE'LL BE NEW FRIENDS
  5. FRIENDS ARE LIKE WINE THEY GET BETTER WITH AGE
  6. PEOPLE SAY BEST FRIENDS ARE HARD TO FIND; THAT'S BECAUSE THE BEST IS ALREADY MINE
  7. FRIENDSHIP IS THE GREATEST THERAPY (OLDER WOMAN)
  8. LIVE--LOVE--LAUGH
  9. FRIENDSHIP IS THE GREATEST THERAPY (YOUNGER WOMAN)
  10. A HUG IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS
  11. A HUG IS THE PERFECT GIFT--ONE SIZE FITS ALL
  12. GOOD FRIENDS ARE LOSE KNIT 
  13. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, DOGS MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER
  14. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS CATS MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER
  15. HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS
  16. WELCOME HOME--LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH
  17. YESTERDAY IS HISTORY, TODAY IS A GIFT, TOMORROW IS A MYSTERY

SHOPPING

  1. IF TIMES GET TOUGH & I BECOME A BAG LADY, LET IT BE PRADA
  2. IF SHOPPING BURNS CALORIES I'D BE A SIZE 2
  3. I'D RATHER BE SHOPPING
  4. WHEN LIFE GETS TOUGH THE TOUGH GO SHIPPING
  5. SEIZE THE DAY AND DRAG IT SHOPPING
  6. IF AT FIRST YOU DO'T SUCCEED, KEEP SHOPPING
  7. IF THE SHOE FITS, BUY IT IN EVERY COLOR
  8. WHEN I GET TIRED OF SHOPPING, I TRY ON SHOES
  9. BEHIND EVERY SUPERWOMAN IS A GREAT PAIR OF SHOES

WOMEN 

  1. ​REAL WOMEN DON'T HAVE HOT FLASHES THEY HAVE POWER SURGES
  2. I WISH WEIGHT WAS LIKE VIRGINITY ONCE YOU LOST IT YOU COULD NEVER GET IT BACK
  3. RELATIONSHIPS LIKE ALGEBRA 
  4. MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL I AM MY MOTHER AFTER ALL
  5. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, MOM MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER
  6. MY MOTHER BY CHANCE, MY FRIEND BY CHOICE
  7. I OPEN MY MOUTH AND MY MOTHER COMES OUT
  8. WORLD'S BEST MOM
  9. I AM WOMAN, I AM AMAZING, I AM TIRED
  10. SISTERS ARE LIKE BRAS--THEY SUPPORT YOU AND ARE CLOSE TO THE HEART
  11. PMS PROVIDE ME WITH SWEETS
  12. WOMEN INVENTED MULTI-TASKING
  13. A SISTER IS ONE WHO REACHES FOR YOUR HAND AND TOUHES YOUR HEART
  14. SISTERS ARE LIKE BRAS--THEY SUPPORT YOU AND ARE CLOSE TO THE HEART
  15. SUBURBAN MOTHER'S DELIVER OBSTETRICALLY, BY CAR FOREVER
  16. SMALL CHILDREN DISTURB YOUR SLEEP, BIG CHILDREN YOUR LIFEF 
  17. PARENTHOOD:  THE STATE OF BEING CHAPERONED
  18. THE FUNDAMENTAL JOB OF A BABY IS TO RULE THE UNIVERSE
  19. IT'S A BOY
  20. IT'S A GIRL
  21. WORLD'S BEST GRANDPA
  22. WORLD'S BEST MOM
  23. WORLD'S BEST DAD

WORK & MORE

  1. A TEACHER AFFECTS ETERNITY--NO ONE CAN TELL WHERE THE INFLUENCE
  2. STOPS
  3. I'M SO FAR BEHIND I THINK I'M FIRST
  4. THERE WILL BE NO CRISES TODAY MY SCHEDULE IS FULL
  5. I CAN ONLY PLEASE ONE PERSON AT A TIME.  TODAY IS NOT YOUR DAY AND TOMORROW DOESN'T LOOK SO GOOD EITHER
  6. YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT
  7. ACCOUNTANTS DO IT BY THE NUMBERS
  8. IT'S ACRUAL WORLD
  9. A FINE IS A TAX FOR DOING WRONG.  A TAX IS A FINE FOR DOING WELL
  10. WO2  TEACHING KIDS TO COUNT IS GOOD, TEACHING THEM WHAT COUNTS IS BEST
  11. WO3  TEACHERS TAKE A HAND, OPEN A MIND, TAKE A HEART
  12. WO4  NURSES ARE PATIENT PEOPLE
  13. NURSES CAN TAKE THE PRESSURE
  14. HOUSEWORK NEVER KILLED ANYONE BUT WHY TAKE A CHANCE
  15. WO7  IT''S A TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT KIND OF DAY
  16. OF ALL THE DAYS I HATE MOST MONDAY IS MY FAVORITE 
  17. MONEY TALKS--ALL MINE SAYS GOODBYE
  18. YESTERDAY IS HISTORY, TODAY IS A GIFT, TOMORROW IS A MYSTERY
  19. I'M TAKING CARE OF MY PROCRASTINATION ISSUES,  JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE
  20. PROCRASTINATE NOW
  21. I'M TAKING CARE OF MY PROCRASTINATION ISSUES,  JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE
  22. PROCRASTINATE NOWOUT OF MY MIND--BACK IN 5 MINUTES
  23. I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY--I ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT
  24. I USED TO HAVE A HANDLE ON LIFE, BUT IT BROKE
  25. WHEN YOU COME TO THE END OF YOUR ROPE, TIE A KNOW & HANG ON
  26. I'D BE UNSTOPPABLE IF I COULD GET STARTED
  27. I DIDN'T LOSE MYMIND, I PUT IT AWAY FOR SAFE KEEPING​​